Foods Avert While Planning To Lose Weight

One very sound tips with regards to cardio exercising to know why you do it the your aims are. Cardio exercise is best for the heart but is using weight training. A combination of the both will help one improve your fitness much better than just one form of figure out.

The final area is supplements. Much of us a great aversion to getting anything that sounds being a Therefore, we may try lowering on ones such as green green teas. This is often done once they are the harmless, but in fact essential. These essential capsules, including mega-dose multi-vitamins, cause increased metabolism and thereby fight not only depression however the feelings of tiredness also. Not using these on a routine basis, or cutting back because they either cost too much or because we think we won’t need them, detracts from maintaining a routine can in fact result in more dramatic modifications.

Avoid putting too much emphasis concerning the weight claim. Although this is your #1 goal, in case you’re putting substantially emphasis on this subject stage of the life, could possibly become too overwhelming to proceed a balanced diet. You want to make sure you be aware that you are still workout muscles beautiful that weight loss is for health.

Warm at the 5-10 minutes of light cardio or with warm-up sets every single exercise the light-medium importance. Choose 1-2 workouts every single muscle group and do 1-2 groups of 8-16 repetitions of each exercise.

If you like doing a particularly athletic activity, join a team that may as carefully. Dance classes are a great technique to burn off calories as well as give that you just workout. Water aerobics classes are also suitable. Go hiking or rock climbing. These all exercises that people see fun and increase one’s fitness aspect. Your chances of success will increase if you get a fitness routine the actual reason fun. Folks who wants stand the fitness routine you do, you are going to make excuses to skip it. How productive is usually that? Why not have some fun while you get in curve?

You should try to eat healthy these solar lights in order to be healthier. Is actually healthier to eat more small meals rather than three big ones. Assist your body’s metabolism functioning at the throughout time.

Another well-known thing which leads to bench press exercise shoulder injury is excess bench kilos. You need to know yourself quite. Of course, trying brand name new max always require entering into uncharted territory, but anyone have so-so do 1 rep with 225 lbs, chances are, that increase to 250 lbs is just too much.

Reading this article will allow you to find cheap auto insurance in California today

Collision Insurance. Collision insurance will pay for injury to the policyholders own car, no matter who caused the accident. This coverage applies to damage to the policyholders car as a result of a collision with another vehicle or even a stationary object, or as the result of generating. If another driver was at fault, the insurance company may pay the policyholder, then seek reimbursement in the other drivers insurer. Coverage is restricted by 50 percent ways. First, the total amount the policyholder can collect is not any greater than the present rate of his or her car immediately ahead of the accident. Second, the person buying collision insurance selects an insurance deductible. The deductible may be the level of each loss that the policyholder pays before the insurance provider makes any payment. So, for example, with a deductible of $200, the insurance policy buyer pays the very first $200 of any collision claim, as well as the insurance company pays the rest. Generally, deductibles range between $50 to $1,000. The greater the deductible, the reduced the premium for collision coverage. Are you California car insurance looking for cheap car insurance in California? Certain best auto insurance in California are offering low rates for drivers just like you.

Comprehensive Coverage. Comprehensive coverage is definitely an option covering losses due to most types of damage besides collision. It covers such risks as fire, theft, vandalism and malicious mischief, glass breakage, falling objects, collision with animals or birds, explosions, earthquakes, windstorms, floods, hail and the like. However, some kinds of objects and events are generally excluded; for example, most policies will not pay for tape decks or CB radios. Comprehensive insurance provides broad coverage. For instance, in case a car is stolen, the insurer reimburses the policyholder for the price of the car and also pays a reasonable amount for substitute transportation, such as a rental car, perhaps for as long as 1 month. Some policies extend coverage to include damage or theft of rented cars. And, although comprehensive is supposed to pay for damages towards the policyholders car instead of to property in a vehicle, some policies provide limited coverage web hosting effects in a vehicle when the loss is due to fire or lightning.

Cheap Car Insurance In California

best car insurance will work with you to get you a fair rate.

Enjoy summer without the annoyance of bugs and flies – contact Victoria Fly Screens today!

When the heat of summer blazes, are you hassled by flies and other flying insects when you open your door or windows to attempt to cool off a bit. You can get fly screens for windows put on every single window in your home. This is true even if you have odd shaped windows. You can get standard rectangular fly screens for standard windows, but you can also get fly screens for vertical split windows or even the ones that open out with a crank of a handle

You should also get fly screens for doors. You will want both the front and back doors. Whether you have a single door or double doors in the front, you can get fly screens for these doors. If you have sliding glass doors leading out to your back yard, you can stop those pesky flying insects with fly screens for doors especially made for sliding doors.

When you get vertical screen systems, they will work on all types of windows. When you retract the screen, it just rolls up to be stored in a cassette. The cassette is provided to prevent any damage to your screens when you don’t need them. The use of retractable cassette fly screens for windows really increases the life of the screens by making them completely out of the way when they aren’t needed.

The cassette for your roll up screens are available vertically for the fly screens for doors. Just imagine how convenient this is when the weather changes and you just don’t need the screens. These screens last so long that you may never have to replace screens again. Just roll them into their cassette and you will hardly even notice that they are there, then when the insect season starts unroll them and have all of the protection you want.

These door and window screens also keep flying dust and debris out of the house and this can save you a lot of clean-up. We have all had to do extra dusting when we open the door and windows to get a breeze, no longer. Just unroll your door and window screens and you can keep dust, debris and insects out all at the same time, then store them in their cassette when not needed and prevent them from being damaged, increasing the life of your screen.

Learn how to conserve $200 or more on your California car insurance using our handy guide

Cheap California Car Insurance Income-replacement payments could be available for any disability whether permanent or temporary, total or partial. The basic plan could have been subject to a set limit of $1,000 each month, but individual motorists were to be able to purchase higher levels where actual income was higher. Housewives, retired persons or unemployed persons will be compensated over a basis related to the things they could reasonably expect to gain when they decided to seek employment. Payments would continue for provided that earning capacity remained limited. Death benefits would be for sale in respect of each fatal injury. There’d be funeral expenses of up to $1,000. An additional lump sum of $1,000 could be accessible to dependants for other needs arising just after the fatal accident, plus periodic payments (up to $1,000 each month with additional coverage entirely on an optional basis) sufficient to permit continuation of the normal standard of living. 

That resembles the then existing scheme in Ontario, the Law Reform Commission’s scheme might have excluded quotes from from cover loss occasioned throughout the commission of the criminal offence and deliberately inflicted self-injury.  In contrast with other schemes, however, the master plan do not need excluded losses arising where the driver was intoxicated by alcohol or drugs. This problem, it had been thought, should be left towards the criminal law. Forfeiture of insurance benefits was regarded as being too severe a problem. “Variplan” – A coverage Industry Proposal. Get the lowest rates on California car insurance from!

The Law Reform Commission proposal was left to gather dust on library shelves. It provoked no legislative action. Nonetheless, other groups were considering no-fault plus 1974 the Insurance Bureau of Canada, the trade association of automobile, casualty and property insurers, produced a suggestion for any modified no-fault plan entitled “Variplan.”  “Variplan” might have denied the legal right to sue for economic losses where these were inside limits with the no-fault benefits and then for non-economic losses unless the victim suffered death, serious permanent injury or maybe more than six months lack of ability to perform any and every duty regarding her occupation or employment. No- fault benefits were to be payable for medical and rehabilitation expenses (as much as $20,000 per person, excess of government plans as well as other insurance); lost income for a maximum duration of 36 months (at the rate of 80 per cent of income with a maximum of $1,000 monthly); up to $20 each day for “expenses incurred in obtaining ordinary and necessary services in place of those that could have been accomplished by the injured person on her own or dependant s benefit and not for income”; funeral expenses as much as $1,000; and lump-sum death benefits of $5,000 for the death with the head from the household or spouse from the head of the household, having an extra $1,000 per surviving dependant at night first. The master plan called for a lack of success of just one percent each month to become imposed on insurers not making payment within Thirty days from receipt of evidence of loss. Get more California state info from the official California web portal.

Sell Property online the best way in selling property

The Best Way in Selling Property Online

Selling property may be due to some very important reasons. Some people though sell properties as forced by some critical conditions and reasons. It may be due to financial problems such as cost cutting, going away for good, planning to buy a new house, and the likes.

When a person decides to sell his property, the first thing to look for is the buyer. Literally, how can one sell property when there is no buying party to deal with?

One of the most common property put up for sale is the house. There are at least 70% of people who are looking for houses to purchase. Why not? It will be much less costly when one will buy an already fully furnished house than to still take the burden of constructing a new house with nothing but scratch.

Sell property online needs advertisement. Well, just in case the knowledge of the seller of the property is just limited to putting up a “For Sale” sign outside of the house, then he is terribly wrong.

Advertisement in selling property covers a large arena. There is a multitude of ways to do so. Among of which are advertisements in radio broadcasts, television, through word of mouth, and the most advanced way—advertisement through the internet.

With the onset of the cyber web power, there are more and more people who surf the net to find answers to their desired information. There are as well a large percentage of potential home buyers who seek advertisements in the net as posted by the individuals selling property. Finding properties for sale online can be less tasking and hassle-free.

Those who consider selling property opt more to sell property in private. Why so? Agents are known to be the middlemen in a particular transaction. Their services require fees. Most agents who transact the negotiation of selling properties for other people charge up to 4% or more as sales commission.

Sellers of properties would as much as possible want to get the whole of the profit for themselves. It is quite understandable as times are too hard these days that they are pressing hard on the people. The tendency is for the owners to sell properties privately. Meaning, they do the advertisement and handle the task of finding the right and worthy buyer.

Why must you decide on selling property privately? What are the possible advantages that you will get from it?

First of all, estate agents charge up a real good deal of sales commissions. The rate of their commissions is in between the range of 1.5% up to 4%, not to mention the value added tax! In short, out of the whole amount, you will be tasked to pay the estate agent a certain percent which you will really be disappointed of. It is so unlike compared to the result if the selling of the property will be done privately. You need not pay an estate agent plus the whole amount of the purchase will be only yours to hold.

The estate agents will not be used to value the property. In most cases, the insurance companies do not recognize the effort and computation of the estate agents in terms of building up the insurance rates. The estate agents only base their computations on the rest of the properties which they have sold when in fact the computation of the insurance companies are far too different.

Also, these estate agents are usually only after the amount of the commission that they will get as soon as possible. So they simply just value the properties in very small amounts so the transaction of selling the property will be closed soon.

These estate agents are usually reputed for being notorious. Sell property There have been a lot of estate agents who have been charged and punished by the authorities because of misleading their clients therefore resulting to a loss of large amounts as on the part of the owner of the property.

Basically, estate agents act for the security of their interest. They prompt the buyers to purchase the property for sale simply so they can secure their commissions.

Now you know the disadvantages of employing an estate agent in selling property. If you can do it by yourself, so be it. There are a lot of private sales sites where you can advertise your property for sale and get relieved of the tiring expenses on commission rates.

Why would you buy a corner sofa bed?

Why would you buy a corner sofa bed?
Few years ago I decided that it is the time to purchase a new sofa. Long story short, I bought a three seated sofa on its own under an influence of somebody else. Now I am sitting down on my three seated sofa and I am thinking to myself what a big mistake I made. You will ask yourself, why is it a mistake? Because every time I have more than two guests they end up sitting at the dining table or on the floor… I truly, truly hate it! On top of this, my family lives abroad so every time they come, I end up on the floor in the living room and I give up my bed. So now you probably know where this story is heading. Everyone has SOME guests time to time. That’s why; having a lovely cheap corner sofa beds with a sleeping function is a brilliant solution. For sure  corner sofa beds it will be useful if you would like to have a coffee with your friends and then when you have visitors and they are staying over, so YOU do not end up on the living room floor.

Dig In And Get Excited With These Home Improvement Tips

Have you been looking for ? then we can help.

Home improvement has so many possibilities as to what you can use, do, and how you can apply it to your own home. It is rare to find somebody that will do the exact same thing as you, so why not create a job that works for only your home? This article can help you.

Keep tabs on how much you spend on your home improvements. It is really easy to nickel and dime yourself with small details and not realize how much you have totaled. A simple spreadsheet or budgeting tool will help you keep track of all this information. It will be much easier at tax time too, to be able to get all of the deductions you deserve.

If you are suffering the wrath of owning a small bedroom, you can create an optical illusion making it seem larger than it is. Repainting your room in light green or blue can create a feeling of more “space”. You can also incorporate colors such as off white or beige, but they won’t feel as comfortable or warm as the other colors would.

Many people may see dark paneling in their rooms as a curse. However, it can be really simple to spice up your panels to make them suitable and stylish. Lightly sand your panels and paint over it with a primer. Then just apply a coat of paint in the color of your choice. This will give new life to your room as well as your dark paneling.

Self adhesive drywall patches are a must-have home improvement. These patches come in many forms ranging from mesh drywall tape to those made of a polymer material. Press them carefully into place using an iron. Be careful not to scorch the patch or the wall surface. Paint right over the patch and you’ll never know it’s there.

Paint stripes on walls in the color of your paneling before the paneling is installed. Even if you install the paneling carefully, the wall underneath might show through the cracks. To minimize this, try to measure where the panels meet prior to installing it. Paint strips on the wall using paint color which better matches the paneling color.

Make sure that the home improvement work you do can be easily seen. If you are trying to sell your home you do not want people to be put off by unattractive features. While true that may improvements are not usually the most obvious ones, when you are selling the home it is the ones you can see which are most important.

Replacing your carpets can be a breath of fresh air. Carpets can be a hotbed of allergens making your own home hard to live in. Consider replacing your carpets with hardwood, tile, or laminate floors for a healthier living environment. Hard surface floors will also provide an updated look to your home.

When it comes to home improvement, be sure to have fun with it. This is important because it should be a rewarding experience for you. You will never fully enjoy your home improvement project if it was a burden and brings back bad memories. Consider hiring help if it is expected that you will run into issues completing the project on your own.

If you are concerned about adding value to your home, do not put in a swimming pool during your next home improvement project. The upkeep on a pool is very time consuming, and they are also difficult to clean. Your energy would be better spent on a project (such as a garden) that will give you a better return on the amount of money you are spending.

Insulate exposed pipes in your home. If uninsulated, pipes can freeze during the winter. This can cause a great deal of stress and headache since you won’t be able to access running water. The pipes could possibly burst. Exposed pipes may be located where you are unlikely to see them, such as, in the attic or the basement.

Update your kitchen cabinets. If you are on a tight budget, a simple way to update your kitchen cabinets and drawers is by replacing the hardware. Knobs and pulls are available in a style to suit every one’s taste, from contemporary to vintage to traditional. When you replace the hardware, don’t forget to clean your cabinets thoroughly. You will be surprised how many people think that you have actually replaced your cabinets!

If you are planning a do-it-yourself renovation project, make sure to familiarize yourself with the safety precautions of the materials and tools you will be using. Power tools, paint and other finishing products, and even hand tools all carry with them significant dangers. If you’re using a piece of equipment that’s new to you, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a friend or hardware store associate.

Isn’t creating your own home improvement job fun? As you have seen in this article, there are a lot of ways this can be done and no two techniques or products will yield the same results. There are also lots of customizable options that can work with your home and budget.

11 gifts for audiophiles

11 gifts for audiophiles

Winter is coming. And with it also comes the need to show the loved ones in your life just how much you care for them by spending, spending, spending on gifts. Trouble is, there are just so many options to choose from. What you really need is someone, some outside force to hold your credit card-holding hand. And boy, do we have some suggestions for you. Happy Holidays! You’re very welcome.

“Music brings the people together,” a grande dame once sang in her characteristic sprechstimme. But what of the audiophiles? What brings them together? High-class sonic kit and the bragging rights that come with it, that’s what. Check out our choice selects below for the braggadocio you call bae.

Image credit: Mondadori via Getty Images

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The Pentagon’s plan to outsource lethal cyber-weapons

The Pentagon's plan to outsource lethal cyber-weapons

The Pentagon has quietly put out a call for vendors to bid on a contract to develop, execute and manage its new cyber weaponry and defense program. The scope of this nearly half-billion-dollar “help wanted” work order includes counterhacking, as well as developing and deploying lethal cyberattacks — sanctioned hacking expected to cause real-life destruction and loss of human life.

In June 2016, work begins under the Cyberspace Operations Support Services contract (pdf) under CYBERCOM (United States Cyber Command). The $460 million project recently came to light and details the Pentagon’s plan to hand over its IT defense and the planning, development, execution, management, integration with the NSA, and various support functions of the U.S. military’s cyberattacks to one vendor.

Now hiring: Lord of cyberwar

While not heavily publicized, it’s a surprisingly public move for the Pentagon to advertise that it’s going full-on into a space that has historically been kept behind closed doors. Only this past June, the Department of Defense Law of War Manual (pdf) was published for the first time ever and included Cyber Operations under its own section — and, controversially, a section indicating that cyber-weapons with lethal outcomes are sanctioned by Pentagon doctrine.

In addition to potentially cultivating lethal malware, the winner of CYBERCOM’s contract will run the whole Pentagon kit and kaboodle of cyber defense and offense. Among many tasks and deliverables, they’ll review and assess cyber wargame reports, run general DoD IT defense and manage patching and internal vulnerabilities, and coordinate CYBERCOM’s attack and defense capabilities with different departments.

The vendor will also do “cyber joint munitions effectiveness support” — assessing a cyberweapon’s effectiveness as a munition and advise changes to methodology, tactics, weapon system, fusing, and/or weapon delivery parameters to increase effectiveness of its force on specific targets. Likely candidates include Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman and Raytheon.

Well, the Pentagon sorely needs help with its cybersecurity. In March, the Pentagon’s director of operational tests and evaluation Michael Gilmore turned smiles upside down when describing the state of cybersecurity across the U.S. military at a Consortium for IT Software Quality conference.

Gilmore said, “When we do cybersecurity assessments … we get in almost every time.” He noted, “the testing staff generally used novice and intermediate techniques, not even the more sophisticated malicious software used by foreign countries.”

Several specific positions are in the work order, including a “Weapons & Capabilities Lead” who will “serve as the technical lead for contractor personnel performing Fires, Media Malware Analysis … and cyberspace joint munitions effectiveness support functions.”

The position requires that this person have considerable experience in what’s essentially malicious black hat hacking, with “A minimum of three years of experience in Cyber Fires and/or Cyber Targeting.” In military-speak, the term “fire” indicates the act of pulling a trigger; a “cyber fire” indicates a weaponry operation where the command is given to discharge that (cyber) weapon, just as one would receive the command to fire traditional munitions such as missiles or guns.

The contractor is also expected to advise on hack attacks, and “provide technical targeting expertise on the best methods to allocate fires against deliberate and dynamic targets in and through cyberspace.”

Ready, aim: Cyber-fire

The Pentagon's plan to outsource lethal cyber-weapons

Unlike attack malware of yore (like Stuxnet, made for sabotage), CYBERCOM’s digital arms will be made with the intent of achieving traditional warfare weaponry outcomes. In other words — death.

Under Law of War guidelines, if a “cyber fire” like weaponized malware caused “the kind of physical damage that would be caused by dropping a bomb or firing a missile, that cyber attack would equally be subject to the same rules that apply to attacks using bombs or missiles.”

According to the manual, the Pentagon’s cyber-weaponry operations may include “cyber fires” that “(1) trigger a nuclear plant meltdown; (2) open a dam above a populated area, causing destruction; or (3) disable air traffic control services, resulting in airplane crashes.”

0day is to missiles, as candles are to snow: unrelated

The CYBERCOM project uses the Law of War ruleset of “following the kinetic model” for all things cyber; meaning that it subjects cyber-munitions, cyber-attacks, and the cyber-weapon’s effectiveness assessment to the same rules that apply to physical attacks using bombs or bullets.

And for anyone familiar with the attack landscape, that’s a highly problematic approach. Malware, zero days (0day), exploits and vulns, infiltration software, surveillance software, even crap used by script kiddies, etc. … none of it follows the same rules or characteristics as traditional weapons. This is exactly where the U.S. government’s proposed interpretation of export weapons agreement Wassenaar Arrangement went wrong and triggered outrage and alienation in global infosec companies and communities.

Both CYBERCOM and Law of War’s cyber-weaponry ruleset only works if the Pentagon is planning to stockpile an arsenal of DDoS attacks — to extend the bomb analogy — but not if it goes further than an external attack.

Hackers who develop, launch and execute attacks (or study such attacks) will certainly agree with Matt Monte, author of Network Attacks and Exploitation: A Framework, who told Engadget via email that CYBERCOM’s plan overlooks the critical step of gaining access. Because of the issues around access, the same rules can’t apply when it comes to cyber-weaponry in attack, execution, timing, predictability, collateral damage, so-called “friendly fire” — or what would now constitute an act of war.

“Causing damage beyond a temporary denial of service requires access,” Monte said. “And gaining access requires time. The question then becomes when is it acceptable to initiate gaining access? This is a political, strategic, and tactical question with no easy answer.”

CYBERCOM spokeswoman Kara Soules was reported as saying, “understanding the success rate of the weapon is critical,” — underscoring that the checks and balances of the project hinge on knowing that “cyber joint munitions” can be guided by the same model of assessing success as a traditional munition strike.

Monte said, “This is a very hard problem. What is the probability that a computer target is vulnerable? That the vulnerability can be exploited? What are the potential effects of destroying or degrading those systems? How will you even know if you are successful?” He added, “The only way to answer these questions with any level of certainty is to gain access.”

The Pentagon’s cyber-unicorn

The Pentagon's plan to outsource lethal cyber-weapons

Both Law of War and the Cyberspace Operations Support Services contract have a very Silicon Valley feel to them — and I don’t mean that in a good way.

That’s because both have a “ship it and fix it later” attitude about the tech at hand. In each document we can see the Pentagon’s young cyber branch echoing an irresponsible startup’s “move fast, break things, apologize later” approach. The COSS contract tries to solve the complex messiness of the Pentagon’s cyber-defense (and offense) needs by simply hiring an arms dealer for deliverables. The Law of War Manual included Cyber Operations alongside Weapons and Military Occupations, but beginning with a slapdash caveat, “Precisely how the law of war applies to cyber operations is not well-settled.”

This thinking isn’t too far off, considering that the Pentagon’s cyber strategy — precursor to its forthcoming CYBERCOM contract and Law of War cyber-bits — was unveiled in May to an audience of students and Silicon Valley entrepreneurs at Stanford University. At the startup epicenter, Defense Secretary Ash Carter said, “We’re going to be increasing our fundamental research and development,” with established companies and startups, Carter said. “So that together, we can create cyber capabilities that not only help DOD, but can also spin off into the wider U.S. marketplace.”

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In the App Store, love comes cheap

In the App Store, love comes cheap

When you’re a writer, people expect you to write. And when you’re courting someone the pressure to write for them, and to do it well, is amplified. My most recent romantic conquest, a Mexican interior designer, lived in LA. He was a diehard romantic, hundreds of miles away, and despite a slight language barrier, he had a way with words that I struggled to match. He had the ability to make me melt with a single text. I, in turn, would sit for minutes at a time, wringing my heart and brain for just one drop of sweet sentiment.

It was in those small moments of desperation that I wished someone else could put into words how I truly felt. In my professional life I’d never entertain the thought of having someone write for me, but I romanticized the idea of my own personal Cyrano de Bergerac. The late 19th-century play may have popularized the concept, but these mouthpieces for the emotionally stunted are peppered throughout popular fiction.

In Gabriel García Márquez’s Love in the Time of Cholera, one of the novel’s central characters, Florentino Ariza, has so much to give after his one true love rejects him that he turns to writing love letters for those who can’t seem to muster the strength. Likewise, in Spike Jonze’s Her, a futuristic love story between a man and his mobile OS, Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore Twombly, a love letter ghostwriter working at a strange human-powered fantasy factory called

In the App Store, love comes cheap

While reading a confession from former love letter ghostwriter Bonnie Downing, I came across an essay by Maria Bustillos entitled “Her: This Movie Makes no Sense,” in which she points out the absurdity of Twombly’s occupation: “In a world where machines can talk like Scarlett Johansson, we’re asked to believe that someone would pay another person to write love letters for him.”

We’re not quite at Her levels of artificial intelligence quite yet, but when the world’s most popular super computer has had more careers in two years than the average American will have in a lifetime, the thought of a Cyrano de Berger-app doesn’t seem so far-fetched. Fortunately for tongue-tied lovers and the objects of their affection, these apps do exist. Unfortunately, they’re all terrible, miserable piles of shit. Excuse my language, but if you’ve used one of these things, then in all seriousness you deserve to be alone for a very, very long time.

Apple’s App Store is full of programs promising to deliver perfect, prepackaged or personalized love letters and text messages for any occasion. Many are rife with typos, misspellings and bad grammar and the reviews, should they exist, are either scathing or written in equally broken English.

“If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you have sex with me?”

Perhaps the most refined of these, the cleverly named Romantimatic, was created for those lovers who just can’t seem to find time for the people they care about. After selecting your “sweetheart” from your contacts, the app asks how frequently you’d like to be reminded to remind your loved one that you really do love them, really. When an alert pops up telling you it’s “time to send some love” you can either select from a series of canned messages or send your own. Should you decide to pursue the former, you’re given a total of 31 texts that range from the simple “I love you” to the clearly created by a bro-grammer “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you have sex with me?” But let’s be real, if you can’t remember to say, let alone be bothered to type out, “I love you” once or twice a day, you’re probably not in love in the first place.

For those who truly are in love and are looking to drop more than a clumsy take on a played pick up line, there’s “My Love,” which boasts “3,000 ways to say ‘I love you’ (or not).” That “or not” comes in the form of “break-up quotes,” if you’re wondering. The app is broken up into six distinct sections: “Love love …”; “About the love”; “International love”; “Difficult love”; “Beginning and end”; and “My Favorites”. Because after you’ve perused this nightmare library of broken English emotion, you’re definitely going to want to remember greatest hits like:

In the App Store, love comes cheap

“I m going to write on the bricks I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,so that u knows how it hurts when u miss someone special like u.”

“Two small kids, boy and girl were crying …. Someone asked why are you both crying???. Girl said my doll has broken.. Boy said- bcoz my doll is crying ….”

Then there’s tête à tête, which uses prompts to coach you through those hard to explain feelings with a series of scripted “love mails,” essentially creating short textable letters for that special someone by filling in the blanks. Should you come up short, the app provides recommendations under the headings “Inspiration” and “Beethoven would write.” I apparently did not understand the assignment:


Your petrified shit collection I’m writing an app-generated love letter to you because I’m dead inside

There is a ceramic elephant on the mantel Blocking a drawing of two men engaged in intercourse

Yours Truly

Assuming you’re as bad at following prompts as I am, the app also features Love MadLibs (which I’m sure is totally not a trademarked brand) in four flavors: “I love you like …”; “How do I love thee?”; “I like your body”; and “A movie.” Don’t ever, ever try this at home. I selected “I like your body” (because I do) and came up with this:

I love your Butt.
They are So warm and loving
I would like to touch them
and kiss them between meals.


So, the app store is a wasteland of canned sentiment, but there are still real-life people out there writing love letters everyday, to people they’ve never met for people they hardly know. And, whether you feel strongly that these sorts of messages should come from the heart (the heart of the sender specifically) or not, they can’t be any worse than what the app store has to offer.

We’re likely decades (if not more) away from real man-machine love affairs like the one featured in Her. Assuming that day does come, machines will be sophisticated enough to act as your love liaison. But for now, I think it’s safe to say, that no matter how hard you stumble, no matter how hard you fall, you’re better off leaving the love letter writing to sentient beings. Even if that being’s heart isn’t beating inside your chest.

Computer Love is a semi-regular column exploring the weird world of human sexuality in the 21st century.

[Photo credit: Moviestore collection Ltd / Alamy]

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